Here are some recent quotes from Will:
1) "I won't hurt Daddy's feelings. Men don't have feelings. Only ladies have feelings." (Andy thought it was hilarious that Will had figured out this Eternal Truth at such a young age.)
2) (Throwing a stuffed ball - which was of course never once actually caught - back and forth with Julia) "We are the BRAVES!"
3) "Mama, I'm your other husband."
4) About my brother Vic's dog Sandy, "Is that his wife?"
5) (I think this one proves how truly, insufferably hot this summer has been...)
Mom: Will, what do you want for your birthday?
Will: Candles. (Because every birthday cake needs candles.)
Mom: What else?
Will: Walkie-talkies. But the walkie-talkies have to be in a box like Scott got. (Scott is Will's cousin. We went to his seventh birthday party a couple of weeks ago.)
Mom: Anything else?
Will: Water, 'cause I might get thirsty at my birthday.
Will: And I want a fan. A lot of fans. A ceiling fan for our kitchen like Mrs. Debbie has, 'cause we don't have one. We need a ceiling fan for our breakfast room where we eat breakfast.
(The poor child is turning three and he requests water and a fan for his birthday! Maybe we all need to take Al Gore a little more seriously.)
6) Will is emptying the lint receptacle in the dryer. "Mama, I need a dust mask. Do you know where the dust masks are?" "Nope." "Well, this is dusty. I might get dust in my eyes."
7) (Loudly to me as we are passing a grocery stockBOY), "Mama, that's Spoono's wife right there!" (What can I do but say "OK" quietly and motor swiftly away with our Car Cart before the poor guy turns around?)
8) "Why do we have to clean up?" "Because our friends Mr. Stan, Mrs. Tasha and Isabella are coming over tonight." "Why are they coming over?" "Because they're our friends and they want to spend time with us." "Well, MY friends are at Mrs. Debbie's house!"
9) (This is when I realized our corporal punishment, such as it is, might be a little lax.) "Will, you have to clean up all those hangers you made fall on the floor." "But I don't want to!" "But you have to." "But I just want you to give me a spanking."
10) (Get your "Aww...s" ready) "Mama, I very completely love you."